Hello friends, I mentioned in an earlier post that I had a little meltdown over Covid-19, I’ve always suffered with anxiety but everything happening in the world made it so bad, much, much worse than its ever been.
So here’s me being brave and talking about how I feel…with some pretty pictures at the end.
Basically I couldn’t cope with all the negative energy and doomsaying that was coming from social media and the news, to the point that I was experiencing mega amounts of anxiety, having panic attacks and (out of stress and desperation) making myself sick. It became a really quick downward spiral and I felt like I was in a very dark place, in the end I stopped going online to try and prevent myself getting stressed out – I didn’t even want to check my email.
To cope with how my emotions were fluctuating I started doing a drawing or taking some photos everyday – I bought myself a set of Arteza brush pens which are totally amazing and I really recommend them. I even grew vegetables and learnt to play the violin!
I also started reading a lot (I love reading) so I read all 41 of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books, the great #GNUTerryPratchett was a genius – the Disc kind of became my happy place! Some of them I read super quickly (Masquerade in particular I finished in less than five hours) and I read my way through the works of my other all time favourite author J.R.R Tolkien working through The Hobbit (again!), the total Lord Of The Rings trilogy – straight through all three books (it took a lot longer than five hours!), The Silmarilion, Beren and Luthien, The Fall of Gondolin, The Children of Hurin, Tales From The Perilous Realm and the Unfinished Tales.
I’m planning to go onto George R.R Martins Game of Thrones Saga and maybe do some art to go with the books – I think it’s safe to say I read to escape the world.
In a lot of ways I’m much better now, I’ve developed my own little methods of coping with my anxiety – I don’t make myself sick anymore, am back on twitter and have started posting my way through all the art I have created (using my website as a digital journal) even if I do have days now and then when I simply can’t face the internet. Which I’m sure is perfectly okay.